All that mattered, was that they cared
by TasK
Summary: All that mattered, was that she knew what was going on, and that she knew what he needed. Kevin Ryan / Alexis Castle.


_'You know, if your dad finds out, he'll kill me.'  
'I won't let him.'_

* * *

He knew it was so wrong. But hell, it felt so good. It felt so good to be in her arms, just forgetting the stuff in his head that drove him crazy.

She knew what was going on, though he hadn't told anybody about the break-up with Jenny. He didn't want the pity of his colleagues, he didn't want to get those looks every time he walked in and out the office. He just carried on, put a mask on his face for the day. And at night, when the working day was over and he finally was home, alone, he fell apart. He cried, sobbed, cursed, didn't eat or sleep.

But she was there for him. She came by every night when he asked her to, when he begged her to, sobbing on the phone. She held him in her arms, stroking his back, without saying anything, knowing that was exactly what he needed. She would lay next to him when he went to bed, still keeping him is her arms. She would place a kiss on his forehead, wishing him a good night, and then waited until he fell asleep in her arms before she left.

Her dad had been furious at her every time she came home late. But after she moved out for college, things got easier for both of them. He couldn't come by at her place without raising suspicion of her friends, but she could stay with him until he fell asleep without anybody noticing that she came home really late some nights.

And he couldn't help but fall in love with her. Her beautiful face, those gorgeous eyes, the soft hands, and her lips that kissed his forehead every night before she said 'good night'. He often had asked her to stay the night with him, but she always shook her head. 'Just go sleep Kevin.'

* * *

_But one night changed it all. He got shot, in his chest. The bullet had just missed the vital organs and veins, but he barely survived, due to a huge blood loss. He was in the hospital, exhausted, barely able to press the nr. 8 button on his speed dial. 1 would be far too obvious, 2 too, so they decided to take 8._

_'Kevin?'_  
_'Hey Alexis. Can't say much, but I'm at the hospital, got shot. I'm okay, just stay at home tonight, okay? Be safe.'_

_He hung up before she had been able to answer, to ask where he was, what happened, how he really was doing. She freaked out, panicked, didn't know who to call or where to go. She could try Javier…_

_Hell, she just did. She called her boy's best friend and told him first to pretend that this conversation never had happened. 'I need you to tell me where Kevin is.' A silence fell. 'Please Javier.' 'He's at the hospital near the 12__th precinct, you know how to find it.' 'Thanks Javi, I owe you a big deal.'_

_And what now? Could she just go over there, hoping her dad wouldn't be there? Maybe his family was with him? Or maybe Beckett? Or a couple of other cops from the 12th precinct?_

_Again, she just did what felt right. She took her coat, took the keys of the front door, told her roommate she'd be out for the night, and took off. She hailed a cab and told him to hurry, in exchange for some extra dollars. The guy nodded and knew where to find the accelerator. Once in the hospital, she panicked again. Where was he, where did she have to go?_

_A woman, early 60's, came her way. 'What's wrong girl, can I help you?' She nodded. 'Can you bring me to Kevin Ryan? He got shot earlier and I really need to see him.'_

_The woman nodded. 'Don't tell the other staff I let you visit him after visiting hours. It's room 204, there to the right, third door on the left.' Alexis hardly got a 'thank you' out before she ran the way the woman had directed her to. She needed to see him. As soon as possible._

_Slowly and carefully, she opened the door. It was a small room, with only two beds, one occupied. She sighted of relief. Not any other patient to disturb. The bed in the back had to be his. The curtain disguised who was there, but it had to be him._

_'Kevin?' She heard a bed creak, someone shifted in the bed._

_'Alexis?' As soon as she heard the first half of her name, she ran towards his bed, looking at the man she cared so much about, she had never seen him that pale. She took his hands an stroked both of them carefully, not wanting to hit any of the tubes and wires that he got attached to._

_'My god, I was so worried about you. And you didn't give me the chance to ask where you were, and I had no clue, so I called Javier, had him made me promise that the conversation never happened.'_

_'Shh, it's okay, I'm fine, It's gonna be alright.'_

* * *

Since then, things had developed between them. Before he had the chance to ask her to stay, she told him that she would be there when he woke up the next morning. She had never seen him so happy.

One day, he told her that he loved her. It had been a huge shock for her, for she had always ignored her feelings for him, 'cause of the little voice in her head that told her he was way too old for her. He kissed her, not on her cheeks as he used to did, but on her lips. Just a soft brush of his lips on hers.

And it had turned a flame on inside her body. She had kissed him back, full of lust, passion, love, and fear. The fear to lose him. He still hadn't fully recovered yet. He was working again, but wasn't allowed to go in the field again. Paperwork was what filled his day at the 12th precinct. And if she got to decide, he never went in the field again. The person that shot him had never been caught. And it scared the hell out of her.

But she never told him. She knew that he knew. And that was enough for her, for both of them.

For he knew that she loved him too.


End file.
